walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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