We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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