I'm passing your future prison.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
