I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
