I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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