TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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