it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
So. Much. Porn.
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