the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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