Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
