I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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