Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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