Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
