She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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