Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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