I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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