My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
