my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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