He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
