is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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