And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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