Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
