used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
