O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
