if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
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enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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