What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
