Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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