'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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