the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Vodka?
Forever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
