i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
