so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
