Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Alive.
So much puke
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
