fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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