my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize