Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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