please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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