Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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