she was so not down for the gang bang
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
