your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
