There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
