What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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