can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
