Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
