just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
