why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
