I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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