So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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