I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
