I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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