it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
