I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
