When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize