She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
