I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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