it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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