Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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