At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Your tits are I can't wait for
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize