Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
