I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
