the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Actions speak louder than pants.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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