I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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