i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
