Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
