How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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