ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
