and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
