going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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