i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just blew my weed a kiss
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
