are you still at the devil's house?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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