maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
